I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
