no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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