You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
