i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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