wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
