did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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