his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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