Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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