Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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