i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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