Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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