Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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