worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
