do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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