everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
