What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
