Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
