Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What a dumb baby whore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
