Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I stole a fireplace last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
