just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
