her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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