So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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