why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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