Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize