he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize