In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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