what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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