is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
