I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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