Me too!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
