dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
