i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The adults are the big ones right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
