went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize