i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
