I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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