You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
