By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
