can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
