farters have to be the big spoon...
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
