More tranny stories later!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize