I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize