the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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