i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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