I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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