Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That's intense
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
