it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
