She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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