why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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