it's not cheating when I paid for it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
