Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
