hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She's just so happy...and so naked.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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