I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
