if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize