Already got asked if we're dating
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Where are you guys?
Drunk
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
