Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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