I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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