so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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