he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
