just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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