There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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