I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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