Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
