sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
