I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize