I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
