Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Quick, to the slutcave!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
